Lupin's Choice
by Foodie
Summary: Tonks convinces Remus to meet Harry at the train station at the end of the school year. Scene based on the end of OOTP, contains spoilers..


Author's Note: So, this ficlet started out as my friend ElfFlame's, but she ceded it over to me after not knowing where to go with it. She wrote the first half, and I wrote the second.   
  
This scene takes place during Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It's right before the very end of the book, and fills in a hidden scene, if you will. Remus is depressed over the death of Sirius, and Tonks tries to get him to come with her to greet Harry when he gets off the train at the end of the school year.  
  
This could definitely be considered a pre-romance. We'd love to hear what you think of this. So, please, read and review! The more the merrier!  
  
Lupin's Choice  
  
Tonks sighed. Why had she agreed to this? She knew he wanted to be left alone. Wanted to be alone with his grief. But the Order still needed him. And Sirius's death notwithstanding, Remus still needed to be there for Harry.  
  
  
  
Tonks watched as the house appeared behind the steps she was ascending. She watched the two neighbouring houses shrink aside. She could do this. For Harry's sake, she had to. She fished out the key Dumbledore had given her, but it slipped from her fingers as she approached the front door, falling to the stoop with a light clink. She nearly brained herself on the door bending down to pick it up again. She sighed as she unlocked the door. Well, at least she could amuse him with her pratfalls, if nothing else. That ought to cheer him a bit.  
  
  
  
She opened the door. "Remus?" she whispered.  
  
  
  
A muffled cackle sounded beside her. The portrait of Sirius's mother was still curtained, but she was sure that the sound had come from it. She pulled aside the curtain. "What are you laughing at, you old bat?"  
  
  
  
The portrait of her long-dead aunt glared down at her. "Filthy half-breed brat! Who do you think you're talking to? Get out of my house this instant!"  
  
  
  
"Oh shut up!" She looked around but very little had changed since the last time she had been here, though she could see it was already beginning to fall into its former state of disrepair now that Kreacher had deserted it. Tonks turned to the portrait, pulled out her wand, and pointed it at the witch in the painting. "All right, you blighted old menace. Where is he?"  
  
  
  
The witch in the painting scowled dark as a storm cloud. "Why should I tell you, half-breed?"  
  
  
  
"Because, if you don't, I'm going to burn you out of that frame until there's nothing left but ash."  
  
  
  
The witch sulked for several minutes, but when Tonks began to raise her wand, she said sulkily, "The beast is upstairs. I haven't seen him since he came back and told me the creature that was my son is finally dead."  
  
  
  
Tonks growled at her, and brandished her wand at the harridan once more before turning on her heel and walking quickly to the stairs. She took them two at a time, tripping on the landing with a thud. Swearing softly, she stumbled to her feet once more and began to tap on each door, calling out his name, then checking inside to see if he was simply not answering. At the fifth door, she heard a grunt from inside, and opened the door to see Remus curled up in a ball in the centre of the bed that filled the small room.  
  
  
  
"Remus," she said quietly.  
  
  
  
At first he didn't respond. But when she called out his name again, he growled, "Go away!"  
  
  
  
"'Fraid I can't do that, mate." She stepped into the room and sat down on the near side of the bed.  
  
  
  
Remus scooted away from her. "Leave me alone," he moaned.  
  
  
  
"And why would I do that? Seems you've already done a bloody good job of that yourself, Remus."  
  
  
  
"Tonks..." he growled. "I will tell you one last time. I am not in the mood for company, so leave."  
  
  
  
"Ah, Remus, love, no can do. Your presence has been requested. And you promised you'd come. Harry, remember?"  
  
  
  
This got a different reaction. "Harry?" Remus's face appeared from under his arms, tear-streaked and splotchy. He was hardly what you could call attractive that way, but it didn't matter. Tonks still felt her heart flutter.  
  
  
  
"Harry. He's on the train as we speak. We were going to welcome him home, remember?"  
  
"Harry wouldn't want to see me. I'm not very good company right now. He wouldn't miss me if I wasn't there," Remus said quietly, throwing his arm back over his face.  
  
Tonks sighed and pulled the rich purple velvet curtain hanging over the window back to let in the bright June sunlight. "Fine, you don't have to go if you don't want to. I suppose I'll just stay here with you then. Keep you company," She said, leaning back on her arm on the bed, across from Remus.  
  
"Really, you don't have to do that. Go, see Harry. I want to be alone," Remus replied, sitting up enough to close the curtains again before lying back down.  
  
Tonks sat up again and pulled the curtain open so hard it tore off and ended up as a pile of cloth in her hands. "Oops," She said quietly. Holding onto the curtain, Tonks looked at Remus, her brow furrowed with concern. "So you really don't want to go? You want to just stay here, in your room, on your bed, with your arm over your face, blocking out the light and life, and everything around you?"  
  
When Remus didn't respond, she continued. "All right then, if that's how you want to be, that's perfectly fine by me. I just thought I'd give you the chance to help the son of one of your best friends. But you can stay here if you like, alone, in your room…" Tonks stood up and slowly walked away towards the door, "But you're not getting this curtain back." With that, Tonks opened the door to leave.  
  
"Wait," Remus called out in a muffled voice, as his arm was still over his face.  
  
Tonks turned around to face Remus, looking at him with a hopeful expression on her face. "Yes?"  
  
"Will you…give Harry a message for me? Tell him I hope he had a good trip back from school, and that he has a wonderful holiday," Remus said quietly.  
  
Tonks didn't know how to respond to that. She'd hoped he would have gotten off the bed and followed her. This was not quite how she'd wanted it to go. Taking a deep breath to steady her voice, she spoke slowly and clearly. "I could…but I'm not a messenger service. If you want Harry to know what you'd like to tell him, you're going to have to get up off that bed, and tell him yourself."  
  
"Forget it then, I'll just write to him," Remus said, turning onto his side facing the wall.  
  
Tonks wasn't sure if she could keep her cool. She felt her temper rising, and hoped it wouldn't result in hurt feelings or burnt bridges. "So, I'll just tell Harry that you didn't care enough to come see him. I'll tell him you were too busy lying on your bed feeling sorry for yourself. Poor Remus, he has nothing to live for anymore, so he might as well sit up in his room till he dies and rots," Tonks said, her voice low. She was no longer sure of what she was doing, knowing only that her temper was getting the best of her. Walking back into the room, Tonks took the curtain in her hands and threw it on Remus's outstretched body. "Here! A burial shroud!" She said sarcastically.   
  
While Tonks tried to calm down, Remus finally spoke again. "Why do you even care? What's it matter to you?"  
  
Sighing and sitting back down on the bed, Tonks grew bold and put her hand on one of his knees. Remus jerked his knee out of her hand. Tonks didn't want him to keep pulling away, but she was scared to keep trying. Folding her hands and setting them in her lap, she continued. "Because, contrary to what you might believe, there are actually people in this very world, who care about you. And besides…there's a war going on right now. We need everybody who's able to, to fight. You still have work to do. And Harry needs you in his life, you know," As she spoke, her voice calmed down and became soft and soothing. Tonks gently lifted the curtain up off his body. "He needs more than a letter right now. He's hurting too."  
  
Remus turned to face Tonks. "I don't know if I can…" He said quietly, tears glinting in his eyes.  
  
"You can do this. I know you can. You're a strong person, Remus. Truly strong people know their limits, and aren't afraid to ask for help when they know they need it," Tonks said, taking a deep breath and making another bold move by brushing the hair out of his eyes. She heard his sharp intake of breath at her touch, yet he didn't push her away. "I need your help Will you go with me today, and greet Harry? He needs the love and support from his friends and family right now. He can't get through this without you, nor you him. You need each other," She said in a whisper.  
  
Remus turned away from Tonks again. "Please…leave me alone. Get out," He said quietly.  
  
Tonks sat next to Remus, looking at him and wondering what to say next. "You know, I never had the chance to get to know Sirius as well as you knew him. He was so much older than I was," Tonks saw Remus wince at that moment, but wasn't sure of the reason why. "But over the last year, he told me how much he loved you as a brother. He told me about his school days. He loved all three of you, did you know that? You know, I bet you know all sorts of things about Sirius that I don't. Maybe some day you could share those memories with me. And Harry. I think he'd enjoy that too, when the time is right," Tonks found she was feeling more emotional than she thought she would over this painful subject.   
  
Trying to fight the tears she felt forming in her eyes, she spoke again. "I miss him too, you know. I loved him too. And now he's gone. He's never coming back, and there will always be a piece of your heart that's empty now that he's gone. And in mine too. And Harry's," Tonks stopped speaking at this point to blow her nose and wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face.   
  
Sniffling, she grew impatient and upset over the fact that Remus didn't seem to be affected by anything she'd said. "I…I…never mind. I don't know why I said any of that. I don't know why I even thought I could get through to you." Tonks stood up and walked back to the door. "I'm going to the station to meet Harry. If you were any kind of friend to Sirius, and had any love in your heart for him, and the things he loved most, you'd meet me there. But I won't force you. I won't pester you anymore. It's your choice. Goodbye," With that, Tonks left the room and shut the door quietly.   
  
Tonks found herself in King's Cross Station, in the middle of a crowd of people waiting just outside Platform 9 ¾, several minutes after leaving Remus. She talked with a few people, but didn't feel too excited to be there, after having failed in her mission.   
  
A couple minutes before the Hogwarts Express was about to pull up, Tonks looked around spotted Remus in the crowd of people. She felt as though her heart had stopped beating for a few seconds as she gazed at him.   
  
It was a warm June day, and he was wearing a jumper, slacks, and an overcoat, but he was there. It was far more than Tonks had hoped for. Her heart leapt as she smiled at him, though he didn't seem to notice her.   
  
When Harry arrived, everybody had a chance to talk to him, Remus included. Tonks was so proud of him. She watched as Moody made small talk with him. Remus kept putting his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground. Occasionally he'd kick his foot against the pillar, looking intently at where he was kicking. Tonks could tell this was a very difficult thing for him to do, but it was good to see him doing it anyway.   
  
Soon enough, Harry left to go home with his family, and the rest of the crowd dispersed. Tonks lingered behind, as did Remus. Both seemed awkward and unsure of what to say. Leaning against a pillar, Tonks looked up at Remus and stared at him for a minute. She couldn't believe he was dressed like it was a freezing winter day out when it was so warm. "Nice outfit," She finally said, smiling.  
  
Remus snorted. Looking at her, he focused on her hot pink hairdo. "Nice hair," He countered, sounding almost sarcastic, though Tonks thought she saw a hint of a smile on his face. 


End file.
